A Note from Allie...
One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. Many of us hold onto control for dear life. We attach ourselves to outcomes, push for things to happen the way we want them to go and try to run the show. The reality is that things go much more smoothly when we allow them to happen instead of try to MAKE them happen. When we are able to trust that we are okay no matter the circumstances, we open ourselves up to possibilities. These are possibilities that weren’t there when we attached ourselves to what we deemed was the “right” path. Oftentimes the path we so desperately want to be on is not the most valuable or productive one. Letting go of control means opening up for more joy, freedom, peace, connection and support. Surrender literally means to stop fighting. Stop fighting with yourself. Stop fighting with the natural flow of things. For example, when I become aware that I am in control mode, I imagine that I am in a small boat paddling upstream, against the current. It’s a fight, and it’s hard. When I choose to let go and surrender, I visualize the boat turning around, me dropping the oars, and floating downstream. I’m being gently pulled. Surrender = complete acceptance of what is + FAITH that all is well. It’s not about inaction. It’s about taking action from that place of surrender energy. I know that sometimes it’s a little harder to make the shift from control to surrender. But if letting go of control and surrendering not only feels better, but actually produces better results, then how do we do that? Tips I use on how to let go and surrender: 1. Practice mindfulness mediation to stay in the present moment. Gratitude lists are a great way for me to do this. No matter how challenging things get… there is always something I have to be grateful for. 2. Use a positive affirmation as a source of inspiration and to control negative thoughts. Create your own personal mantra. My favorite is…“I know that He has me and everything is going to be ok.” I repeat this several times with my hand over my heart. 3. Do what brings you joy and where you lose track of time. I have started playing the piano again and it is been therapeutic for me. The time evaporates. 4. Spend time outside in nature and get grounded. I love walking in my neighborhood, sitting on my front porch watching the sunset, and getting my hands in the flowerbeds. 5. Do physical exercise that you enjoy. My yoga mat is my safe space. There is a class for whatever mood I’m in. With so many incredible teachers - my mind and body always feel better afterwards. 6. Practice mindful breathing. My favorite go to is box breathing. Inhale for 4. Hold for 4. Exhale for 4. Hold for 4. 3 times. 7. Be gentle with yourself. Watch your self-talk. Try to talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend. Practicing loving self-kindness and compassion can be a game changer. 8. Lean on your support tribe. You are not alone. Ask for what you need. You don’t always have to be strong. Sometimes it takes a really strong person to reach out to a friend and be vulnerable. 9. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment. The 3 a’s. Awareness of Feelings. Acknowledgment of Feelings. Acceptance of Feelings. Remember… just because you “feel” something doesn’t make it a fact. Learn how to separate feelings from facts. 10. Learn to trust yourself. Go in and connect to YOU. When you get quiet… you can hear what your heart is telling you. Just like anything else in life, this is a practice. It is not a practice to be perfect, it is a practice towards progress. I know that if we can live from a place of love rather than from a place of fear, we will find greater peace, light, and joy. Let’s drop the oars and have faith in the unfolding. Much love to you all, Allie